You May Not See Me, But I'm Still Here
I'll be cutting back on blog posts until I finish my book. It's a Christian contemporary romance with the working title,When Stones Fly.
If you like small town America and happy endings, let me know. I'll notify you as soon as it hits the shelves!
A Ten Minute Blog Post. Really?
A friend of mine, Sarah Kovac, posted a Saturday Sprint blog prompt this morning, with the challenge to blog for ten minutes.
This immediately peaked my curiosity because, overall, I’ve been ignoring my blog for lack of time . . . but ten minutes? Surely I have ten minutes!
First of all, I’ve got to tell you about the tornadoes that rolled through Texas last week. Cleburne, the town I called home for seven years, and the nearby town of Granbury, suffered damage and at least six people lost their lives. Please send up a prayer for all concerned.
Even though the tragedy is heart breaking, the outpouring of support from the community sheds a warm glow over the rubble. Churches offering food and water. Neighbors helping each other sort through debris. Strangers from surrounding cities showing up to remove downed trees.
God was in Texas this week. I saw him over and over.
Photo credits: CBS News/Google Maps
On a lighter note, I finished editing my book . . . only to get revisions back from my agent, so now I’m at it AGAIN.
And, it’s strange, but more than once, my thirteen year old has given me the same advice as my agent. I don’t say this to criticize Jessie Kirkland because her advice is sound. It just makes this writer-momma’s heart swell with pride that at least one of my offspring “gets” the writing thing.
By the way, what’s up with all the gnats? I know I shouldn’t complain about the rain, but the gnats are driving me crazy. We’ve devised a vinegar-filled bottle to trap them, so wish me luck.
Wexler’s Inspire Wild – Click for details
Well, my ten minutes are up, and I’m not sure I’ve really said anything here.
Tornados, God, revisions, kiddos, pride, gnat traps. Not necessarily a gripping read, but that’s been my week.
What about you? What have you been up to?
Dating (each other) After Marriage
Dating after marriage is paramount to a healthy relationship.
But how can you manage it? Especially with children, jobs, etc?
Books, blogs and articles, offer excellent suggestions like:
- Leave the kids at home
- Wear stylish clothing
- Go to nice restaurants
- Sit close
- Don’t talk about the kids
- Share a dessert
- Be spontaneous
- Talk about your feelings
- Compliment each other
- Make the evening special
Tried and true, marriage-counselor-worthy advice . . . which went unheeded by my spouse and me when our children were small. We didn’t have a dime to spend on clothes or restaurants, and we were both so exhausted that spontaneity was out of the question.
So . . . I’ve consolidated these points down to a concise mission statement:
Date.
.
This, my friend, is doable.
No rules and expectations. No setting yourself up for failure.
Hunky Hubby and I had countless Wal-Mart dates, too many fast food dates, and when babysitters were not an option, we tucked the little tykes into bed and enjoyed a candlelight dinner in the living room. (Yes, of course they all got out of bed, but that’s beside the point.)
What mattered was that we were spending time together because we were crazy in love and wanted to stay that way.
Dating after marriage? Even if you can’t go fancy-smancy, just DATE. (Tweet this)
For you and your spouse, what makes a typical date night? What about when the kids were small?
Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net by PhotoStock
A Gentle Reminder from Edward the Bird
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29,31
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This is Edward, and no, he’s not a sparrow. He’s a cardinal, but there’s no appropriate scripture about cardinals, so I borrowed the one from Matthew.
Edward lives in my yard and eats birdseed on my kitchen windowsill, bringing joy when I’m cooking and cleaning. Edward’s mate (Bella) hardly ever shows up, but she and Edward often rendezvous in a nearby bush where he shares partially chewed mouthfuls. Oh, to be a bird.
Edward’s presence is a gentle reminder for me to keep things in perspective. You see, I’m a worrier. But like the verse says, if God cares for Edward and Bella, I know he’s taking care of me, too.
How has God reminded you lately?
Are You a Bad Mommy?
by V.V. Denman | @vvdenman
“I’m sorry, but I’ve just gotta vent!”
When I see this online declaration, it’s usually followed by a description of a bad mommy sighting.
You know the mommies I’m talking about. They swarm Walmart, buying candy in response to a tantrum, spanking a tired toddler, ignoring a screaming preschooler.
These reports cause me to cringe because I understand the far-reaching damage, and a teensy part of me says, “I would never do that,” and I feel better about my own parenting skills.
Yeah, right.
Now the truth comes out.
Recently, a bad mommy sighting hit a little too close to home, and my pride rose like a dragon. I had done this particular crime. But not only had I done it, I didn’t necessarily regret it. Even though I don’t expect my friends to agree with every one of my parenting decisions, I was befuddled about how to handle the post.
Should I comment and start an online debate? Ick. Should I send a private message? Ouch. Should I simply ignore it?.
I chose the last option, of course.
Little did I know my brain would keep churning, and I would experience not only dragon pride, but also doubt in my parenting. According to the online discussion (and if it’s on fb, it must be fact), good Christian mothers would never ever do something like that because it would warp their children indefinitely.
I recalled other bad mommy venting sessions I, myself, had participated in. The same type of affirming comments had made me feel good about myself, my children, my parenting. It had never occurred to me that any of my 958 facebook friends might feel otherwise. (I know. Duh.)
Then, in a flash I remembered:
I bought the candy. I spanked the toddler. I let the little dribblers scream. (It was them or me.)
No, I did not commit these crimes every time I left the house. In fact, almost never. But once is enough to haunt this insecure mother with regret, shame, and angst.
Now that I’ve come clean and admitted I’ve walked in the bad mommy shoes, I have to wonder how many young mothers I’ve discouraged by participating in online venting sessions. How much insecurity have I thrown their way? I wish I could go back and re-comment.
If I could, I’d type this:
It’s the big picture that counts. Eighteen years of sacrifice make the difference, not a micro-event that a stranger might witness as a mother drags her urchins through the superstore in exhaustion.
But I can’t.
Greeeaaattt . . . now I have more guilt with which to torture myself.
Call it a New Year’s Resolution, but it’s time I change my tune. And my facebook habits. Instead of criticizing bad mommies (no matter how horrible they appear to be), I’ll do my best to encourage the mothers who stumble upon my posts.
After all, we’re all bad mommies sometimes.
Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. Matthew 7:1, The Message
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Photo Credits: FreeDigitalPhotos.net – David Castillo Dominici
So Long, Santa Claus!
by V.V. Denman | @vvdenman
As I box up Christmas decorations, I find myself in a melancholy haze which often happens at the end of the Holidays, but this year it’s worse because 2012 marks the end of an era at the Denmans’ house.
Because our firstborn recently fluttered away from the nest, our annual Santa picture barely happened. Married Daughter and Big Boy were only home briefly, and the Man-Boy had a grueling work schedule down at the local grocery store. As you can see, we never coordinated a time when all could get together. Creativity saved the day, but scheduling will only become more complicated as time passes.
So . . . next year I’m planning a family photo in our living room around the tree. Even though that thought brings me a different joy, I’m saddened to say goodbye to one of my favorite Christmas traditions.
But, oh well.
So long, Santa Claus!
This week’s out-of-context Bible verse:
Behold, I am doing a new thing! Isaiah 43:19 RSV
The Twelve Days of a Writer’s Christmas
by V.V. Denman | @vvdenman
This post is a repeat from December 2010 because I’m shopping instead of writing. Merry Christmas!
On the 1st day of Christmas, a writer gave to me: A copy of the Writer’s Market Guide.
On the 2nd day of Christmas a writer gave to me: 2 reams of paper, and a copy of the Writer’s Market Guide.
On the 3rd day of Christmas a writer gave to me: 3 sharpened pencils, 2 reams of paper, and a copy of the Writer’s Market Guide.
On the 4th day of Christmas, a writer gave to me: 4 backache pills, 3 sharpened pencils, 2 reams of paper, and a copy of the Writer’s Market Guide.
On the 5th day of Christmas, a writer gave to me: FIVE QUERY LETTERS! 4 backache pills, 3 sharpened pencils, 2 reams of paper, and a copy of the Writer’s Market Guide.
On the 6th day of Christmas, a writer gave to me: 6 Twitter Retweets, FIVE QUERY LETTERS! 4 backache pills, 3 sharpened pencils, 2 reams of paper, and a copy of the Writer’s Market Guide.
On the 7th day of Christmas, a writer gave to me: 7 Blog Comments, 6 Twitter Retweets, FIVE QUERY LETTERS! 4 backache pills, 3 sharpened pencils, 2 reams of paper, and a copy of the Writer’s Market Guide.
On the 8th day of Christmas, a writer gave to me: 8 full revisions, 7 Blog Comments, 6 Twitter Retweets, FIVE QUERY LETTERS! 4 backache pills, 3 sharpened pencils, 2 reams of paper, and a copy of the Writer’s Market Guide.
On the 9th day of Christmas, a writer gave to me: 9 writing contests, 8 full revisions, 7 Blog Comments, 6 Twitter Retweets, FIVE QUERY LETTERS! 4 backache pills, 3 sharpened pencils, 2 reams of paper, and a copy of the Writer’s Market Guide.
On the 10th day of Christmas, a writer gave to me: a 10-pound Thesaurus, 9 writing contests, 8 full revisions, 7 Blog Comments, 6 Twitter Retweets, FIVE QUERY LETTERS! 4 backache pills, 3 sharpened pencils, 2 reams of paper, and a copy of the Writer’s Market Guide.
On the 11th day of Christmas, a writer gave to me: 11 bags of candy, a 10-pound Thesaurus, 9 writing contests, 8 full revisions, 7 Blog Comments, 6 Twitter Retweets, FIVE QUERY LETTERS! 4 backache pills, 3 sharpened pencils, 2 reams of paper, and a copy of the Writer’s Market Guide.
On the 12th day of Christmas, a writer gave to me: 12 (hundred) rejections, 11 bags of candy, a 10-pound Thesaurus, 9 writing contests, 8 full revisions, 7 Blog Comments, 6 Twitter Retweets, FIVE QUERY LETTERS! 4 backache pills, 3 sharpened pencils, 2 reams of paper, and a copy of the Writer’s Market Guide.
You Might As Well Smile
by V.V. Denman | @vvdenman
For the past year, I’ve been working on a new habit: smiling.
I’ve always been a glass-is-half-empty kind of person, and since I’m quiet, that leaves me with extra time to think negative thoughts. Come to find out, it’s impossible to think negative thoughts while smiling.
I mean really smiling. Not just lifting the corners of my mouth. I’m still surprised how good it makes me feel.
This change was brought on by Dr. Caroline Leaf‘s book entitled, Who Switched Off My Brain? Controlling Toxic Thoughts and Emotions.
The simple act of smiling has transformed my thought process, so I challenge you to think happy thoughts.
It’s easy. Just smile.
A cheerful look brings joy to the heart; good news makes for good health.
Proverbs 15:30 NLT
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Photo Credits: Wikimedia, Otter - Sstasi, Squirrel - Kathy, Lab – Joseph Reicherts, Pug – Ginny, Chimp - Frans de Waal, Camel – Trisha Shears
