What Do You Mean You Want To Marry My Daughter?!
Did you know I prayed for you before she was born?
She was my first. My princess. My joy. As she grew into girlhood, we struggled with parenting decisions and made mistakes first-time parents always make. Yet we studied the right parenting books, took the best classes, and we prayed, not only for her, but for you as well.
We chose courtship before she ever met you.
We wanted something different for her. Something easier than dating, with more purpose, more communication, more purity. We settled on the idea of semi-courtship. Our parents thought we were silly. Our friends thought we were nuts. She thought we were over-protective.
So I prayed for God to soften her heart, help her to wait, and prepare a strong Christian man to be her husband.
Then she brought you into our lives.
Since we didn’t know you, we were hesitant. (Okay, that might be putting it mildly). You were the unknown factor who tested our plan, but she was adamant (as you know she can be), so her daddy took you out for “a talk.”
Bless your heart, what a discussion that must have been. He laid out the rules. You would only spend time with his daughter in the company of friends or family. There would be no car dates, no alone time, and (of course) no sex. You respectfully agreed.
I thought you’d get tired of the rules, but I prayed for the best.
At eighteen, her daddy gave her a purity ring.
He slipped it on her finger. A heart of diamonds, with tri-color strands woven through, representing man, woman, and God. The perfect plan for any relationship.
Soon after, you gave her a promise ring, and I wondered how she’d handle it since she wore our ring on her left hand. You, however, told her to wear your ring on her right hand. You said the purity ring was more important. For the first time, you caught my attention.
I was so startled I forgot to pray.
The two of you went to different colleges.
I thought you might grow apart, but you didn’t. Instead, you grew closer. You emailed, phoned, and Skyped. Nevertheless, your world broadened beyond your relationship, exposing both of you to amazing Christian friends, professors, and mentors. (and in your case, coaches)
I prayed the two of you would continue to grow in your relationship, friendship, and spirituality.
Then I asked you a favor.
“Could you pray with her everyday?”
Even though you were a hundred miles apart, you could still pray over the phone, right? You agreed, but I feared I was asking too much. I prayed determination for you, and several months later, I hesitantly asked,
“Are you still praying with my baby girl?”
You ducked your head, smiled your dimpled smile, and said softly, “Yes, I am.”
And I prayed tearfully, thanking God for you.
Now she’s nearing graduation,
and we’re still making parenting mistakes. I’ve tried too hard and loved too harshly, but somehow God heard my prayers.
He raised up a boy who can put up with her tantrums, tolerate my opinions, and follow all the rules in the world. (more or less) You’ve celebrated with us at holidays and rejoiced with us at baptisms. You’re part of our family, and you belong here. Not only are you good for us, but you’re good for her, helping her be a stronger Christian.
So when you approached her daddy, requesting her hand in marriage, I prayed a blessing on you as he said,
“Of course you can marry my daughter.”
.
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Related posts in the Mother-of-the-Bride Blog Series (Mob BS):
From Teething Ring to Engagement Ring (in three months or less?)
Finding the Perfect Wedding Dress
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Varina, I think this is your best post. DO NOT let Judy read this: it will make her cry too much.
Ha. Thanks, Mark. I’ve had to keep the tissue box nearby as well.
I agree with Uncle Mark, this one is awesome. I keep reading it and every time I cry. I love you!
But you and I have been crying about everything lately. This one did get to me, though. Who knew I’d end up liking that big boy so much?
This was beautifully done, and as someone who hasn’t been married two years yet, gave me a great perspective from the other side. Thank you
Thanks, Marcy. This one was difficult to write because there was so much emotion involved. But that makes it all the more fulfilling once it’s done. Have a great week!
What a great start to a beautiful future for your kids by writing this. I know you love them but God loves them more. That’s incredible to me to realize that. Love you, Jadi
It’s hard to imagine a love deeper than that of a parent, but that’s the cool thing about God, isn’t it? He’s bigger than we are.
Thanks for the comment, Jadi. Love you too!
Varina, that is the sweetest note. We love your daughter and pray for her and Colton. They make a nice couple and we are proud for them. In Christian love, Ernest and Carolyn
Thank you. That grandson of yours is pretty sweet, too (but don’t tell him I called him sweet).
Well said. I’m enjoying this series.
Thanks, Stacy. Good to see you.
Emotion well-expressed, true and honest. Thanks for honoring the young man in this way. He kept his eye on the prize princess and won her. Won you too, apparently. (pun intended) Congrats to all your family, and thanks for reminding us : “Pray all the time. Everyone. Without ceasing. Everywhere. It’s an attitude!
Great post!
Thanks, Len. And by the way, awesome post over on your blog.
What a sweet message! As I start raising two girls, I want to commit to praying for them and their future spouses….aNd setting THE RULES. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Amy. I’ll send up a prayer too. Your girls are precious!
This was inspiring. I want to do this with my daughter. The time will come before I know it.