The Last of the Lasts

This is a continuation of the Mother-of-the-Bride Blog Series.

If you missed the previous episodes, click the links at the bottom of this post.

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Recently, I took my children to the park for a photo shoot, wanting one last picture before my daughter’s wedding. It crossed my mind that I would be enduring many lasts before we added another person to our family.

Before things changed.

Not that change is bad, but no matter how you look at it, change is change. It rubs.

My youngest daughter, Janae, realized this weeks ago. When Jessica announced her engagement, Janae was ecstatic about her sister’s news and thrilled at the prospect of dressing up for the event. However, that night when I climbed the stairs to kiss her goodnight, I found Janae in tears, covers pulled over her head. She barely had words to convey her jumbled feelings.

“I’m happy for Jessica, but we won’t get to see her very often.”

“No, but she’ll come to visit, and you can visit her too. Even spend the night at her duplex. Won’t that be fun?”

“But she won’t live here anymore.”

I smiled to myself. Jessica hadn’t truly lived with us in two years. “You’re right. Things are going to be different now, aren’t they?”

“I guess so,” she sniffled.

I should have listened to myself that night.

Apparently Janae did. She bounced out of bed the next morning and hasn’t shed a tear since. Even though I haven’t shed tears, I’ve definitely let the lasts get me down. My natural inclination is to look at things from a negative perspective, but I know this about myself and I fight-fight-fight it.

So I gave myself a shake.

My daughter’s wedding will mark the beginning of a lifelong union that is sure to be remarkable. Why should I fret over all the lasts? Instead I should focus on the firsts. Easier said than done, but I was determined to be chipper.

A few days later, we departed for Disney World which might have been the last family vacation before the wedding except for the fact that Colton was with us, which sort of stretched the definition of “family” in “family vacation.” He’s been on several trips with us before, and as I uploaded hundreds of pictures, I realized I had already started focusing on the firsts, even if subconsciously.

Let me explain.

For the years of Jessica and Colton’s relationship, I’ve taken replica photos. A picture of the five kids at the river, plus one with the five kids and Colton. A picture of the family at reunion, plus one with the family and Colton. A picture of the children with Santa Claus, plus one with the children and Colton.

You get the idea.

I regret the insecurity which I surely conveyed to Big Boy, but this momma required a bit of pictorial insurance lest Precious Daughter decide to shred every photo and delete all the files. (Teenage girls are fickle, you know.)

This vacation was refreshingly different. 

Even though he hadn’t walked down the aisle with Jessica yet, Colton was already part of our family. He was one of us, and I boldly took pictures at Disney World, at Planet Hollywood, at the beach. Yet, not once did I feel the inclination to snap insurance photos.

I included all six of my children every time. And that’s a first.

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This week’s out of context Bible verse:

But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.

Matthew 19:30

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