10 Activities the Mother of the Bride should AVOID
by V.V. Denman | @vvdenman
Planning a wedding can take its toll on a Mother of the Bride. So many details. So much expense. So many emotions.
Several activities greatly increase the stress level. Word of advice? Avoid them.
Here they are, in no particular order.
1. Do not Google wedding ideas.
This is counter productive. Your darling daughter is already camped out on Pinterest as well as The Knot. Soon she will email you twenty-seven bazillion links for great ideas, claiming they are easy and inexpensive. Do not believe this.
2. Do not try to do everything yourself.
Even though DIY projects save money, you can’t do all twenty-seven bazillion of them yourself. Figure out what projects you can reasonably manage and budget for the rest.
And . . . pay attention, now . . . when friends and family ask what they can do to help, tell them. I know it sounds simple, but don’t be fooled. This is a toughie.
3. Do not ignore unsolicited advice.
Especially if this is your first MOB endeavor. Just like all the baby advice you tolerated when your darling was born, the wedding advice may get old and repetitive, but that doesn’t change the fact that THOSE WOMEN HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE and survived. They have excellent suggestions. Besides that, they’re less expensive than a wedding planner and easier on the eyes than the internet.
(Pay close attention to their disaster stories. Take notes. Discreetly avoid these mistakes.)
4. Do not compare your daughter’s wedding to other weddings.
Of course it would be fun if darling daughter’s festivities out shined every other wedding in the county, but seriously? If you start comparing, where will it end? Here? Instead, focus on making her day special to her. And her alone.
Okay, maybe him, too.
A little bit.
5. Do not heed Mother of the Bride dress styles.
Don’t worry about MOB dresses like this, this, and this. You can do better. Wait for it. You will find the right dress.
6. Do not reject handouts.
In this day and age, none of us should be too good for gifts, especially when they come from people who love our kids. Often times, these items end up meaning the most to the bride. A cousin’s flower girl basket, a wedding cake made by a friend, pictures taken by an aunt. All these make for priceless memories.
7. Do not demand perfection.
We all want the best for our bride, but remember: Everything. Does. Not. Have. To. Be. Perfet.
8. Do not forget to sleep.
Nothing makes a MOB crankier than sleep deprivation. Don’t go there. Whatever you do in the middle of the night will take half the time after a good night’s rest.
And . . . not that you would do this . . . don’t lie awake worrying about details. God can manage things without you. Go ahead and give it up.
9. Do not forsake the budget.
Even though weddings are the stuff dreams are made of, debt is the stuff of nightmares. (Been there, done that, burned the t-shirt.) Sure, darling daughter will only get married once, but you can make her day unforgettable without burdening your finances. See # 1, 3, 4, 6, and 7
10. Do not stifle the tears.
Happy or sad, go ahead and let them out. You’ll feel better afterward.
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But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42
What advice would you give a Mother of the Bride?
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Photo credits: Stressed woman - Evil Erin, Happy Woman – Bichuas (E. Carton)
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Great list which can be applied to so many things in life besides weddings! I’m definitely taking notes for when my turn finally comes!
#2 (doing things myself) and #8 (getting no sleep) apply to me in too many areas of life. When will I learn?
These are great tips and I especially love #5.
Also, your blog is looking great. I haven’t visited in a while, but I’m liking the new colors and header. Everything is neat and organized and very attractive. How did you get the nicely lined up icons on the upper right sidebar? (FB, Twitter, etc?)
Thanks, Nina. I have lots of fun tweaking the appearance.
Last year I figured out how to build a widget for those cute little icons. Then, of course, I blogged about it. Here’s the link. It may not be the way widgets are supposed to be built, (I’m no computer geek) but it works and it’s free.
http://wp.me/pM9q6-10W
Thank you!
My mom’s greatest act on my wedding day was to stay by my side every moment and be my best friend. She calmed me, helped me see snafus as unimportant in the scope of what was happening, and experienced it with me!
Oh, Jaime, I pray I can be calm when the time comes. Hopefully, I’ll be able to delegate all the “work” so that I can focus on the people. Thanks for sharing a glimpse of your mom today.
I don’t know what advice to give the Mother of the Bride, since I haven’t been through it myself. But to the newlyweds I have this advice: Don’t give your hotel room key to the best man before the reception on the pretext that he is going to do you the favor of putting your suitcases in the room. He will take that key and let all the groomsmen into your hotel room, and set up much mischief for you newlyweds to discover later. At just the time when you really, really don’t want to discover that mischief.
Bless your heart! I will definitely remember those words of wisdom.
Good list!
You mentioned Luke 10. That’s even better.
Here’s a rhetorical comment :
I wonder how all the plans, traditions, expense, labor, worry, anxiety, pressure, etc, would be affected if the bride and groom AND their parents would or could actually SIT AT THE FEET OF JESUS for awhile, taking the GOOD PORTION and THE ONE NECESSARY THING before becoming Marthas. Hehehe. Maybe it’s not too late. Just a thought……
What a great list! I love the MOB dresses. haha
It’s amazing what some people will wear . . .