Marriage Advice, Silver Edition
by V.V. Denman | @vvdenman
Tomorrow marks the twenty-fifth anniversary of the day Don and I vowed to put up with each other ’til death do us part.
Turns out twenty-five years is a long time. And marriage is insanely difficult.
As my daughter prepares to walk down the aisle with her high school sweetheart, I’ve wondered what advice I could possibly give to make it easier.
It all boils down to . . .
Baby Girl, hold on tight.
Marriage is a roller coaster ride of ups and downs.
In the past twenty-five years, there were days your dad and I laughed and played and rested and worked. Days when my cooking was tasty and his jokes were funny. Weeks when everything went well and we immersed ourselves in ourselves, intoxicated by our happiness, stunned by our blessings. There were years when all was well in our lives. We had enough money to pay the bills, enough time to spend together, and enough wisdom to keep priorities.
And we held on tightly. To each other. To our joy. To wonderful memories which we stored away to use as a life-preserver during the
Dark times. Days we hurt each other, accidentally and deliberately. Days we thought only of ourselves. There were weeks (especially after children) when we toiled day and night, figuratively and literally sucked dry of energy. We needed each other in different ways, and neither had anything left to give. There were months of eighty hour work weeks, parenting crises, and impossible expectations. It was tempting to give up.
Instead we learned to forgive. And we clung to God’s promises and held tightly to our vows.
Even though marriage is difficult, it’s one of God’s biggest blessings, and the good times far outweigh the bad. In fact, the rough days make the happy days all the more beautiful.
Let us love one another, for love comes from God.
Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7
What advice can you give my girl?
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For related posts in the Mother-of-the-Bride Blog Series, click here.
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Photo credits: My wedding picture – Jack Magness, Fahrenheit roller coaster – Tommy Faircloth
Happy anniversary, my friend! My marriage advice to your daughter and her man? Don’t put your spouse in place of God. Your spouse will never fulfill your most intimate need to be loved. Only God can do that. When we are secure in His love for us, we are free to love and be loved by our imperfect spouses. At least that’s what I’ve learned through 25 years of marriage! (Our 25th is next week!)
That is such good advice, Anne. If we expect every need to be met by our spouse, we’ll be disappointed every time. Our hearts should be God’s first. Thank you, and Happy Anniversary to you, my sweet friend!
Happy anniversary!
Great advice!
Thanks, Monica!
Varina you really have a way with words. You always touch my heart because you express your feelings so well. I can’t add anything to what you have already said!
Mayre, you’ve given me so much marriage & parenting advice over the years, it’s safe to say this post wouldn’t have been the same without you. Seriously.
This is such wonderful advise to everyone. Congratulations on your 25 years of success. I especially like where you admit to the hard times, marriage isn’t easy but worth it.
Thank you.
Ah . . . it’s SO worth it, isn’t it?